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2020.10.19 17:04 azoundria2 Bob The Magic Custodian



Summary: Everyone knows that when you give your assets to someone else, they always keep them safe. If this is true for individuals, it is certainly true for businesses.
Custodians always tell the truth and manage funds properly. They won't have any interest in taking the assets as an exchange operator would. Auditors tell the truth and can't be misled. That's because organizations that are regulated are incapable of lying and don't make mistakes.

First, some background. Here is a summary of how custodians make us more secure:

Previously, we might give Alice our crypto assets to hold. There were risks:

But "no worries", Alice has a custodian named Bob. Bob is dressed in a nice suit. He knows some politicians. And he drives a Porsche. "So you have nothing to worry about!". And look at all the benefits we get:
See - all problems are solved! All we have to worry about now is:
It's pretty simple. Before we had to trust Alice. Now we only have to trust Alice, Bob, and all the ways in which they communicate. Just think of how much more secure we are!

"On top of that", Bob assures us, "we're using a special wallet structure". Bob shows Alice a diagram. "We've broken the balance up and store it in lots of smaller wallets. That way", he assures her, "a thief can't take it all at once". And he points to a historic case where a large sum was taken "because it was stored in a single wallet... how stupid".
"Very early on, we used to have all the crypto in one wallet", he said, "and then one Christmas a hacker came and took it all. We call him the Grinch. Now we individually wrap each crypto and stick it under a binary search tree. The Grinch has never been back since."

"As well", Bob continues, "even if someone were to get in, we've got insurance. It covers all thefts and even coercion, collusion, and misplaced keys - only subject to the policy terms and conditions." And with that, he pulls out a phone-book sized contract and slams it on the desk with a thud. "Yep", he continues, "we're paying top dollar for one of the best policies in the country!"
"Can I read it?' Alice asks. "Sure," Bob says, "just as soon as our legal team is done with it. They're almost through the first chapter." He pauses, then continues. "And can you believe that sales guy Mike? He has the same year Porsche as me. I mean, what are the odds?"

"Do you use multi-sig?", Alice asks. "Absolutely!" Bob replies. "All our engineers are fully trained in multi-sig. Whenever we want to set up a new wallet, we generate 2 separate keys in an air-gapped process and store them in this proprietary system here. Look, it even requires the biometric signature from one of our team members to initiate any withdrawal." He demonstrates by pressing his thumb into the display. "We use a third-party cloud validation API to match the thumbprint and authorize each withdrawal. The keys are also backed up daily to an off-site third-party."
"Wow that's really impressive," Alice says, "but what if we need access for a withdrawal outside of office hours?" "Well that's no issue", Bob says, "just send us an email, call, or text message and we always have someone on staff to help out. Just another part of our strong commitment to all our customers!"

"What about Proof of Reserve?", Alice asks. "Of course", Bob replies, "though rather than publish any blockchain addresses or signed transaction, for privacy we just do a SHA256 refactoring of the inverse hash modulus for each UTXO nonce and combine the smart contract coefficient consensus in our hyperledger lightning node. But it's really simple to use." He pushes a button and a large green checkmark appears on a screen. "See - the algorithm ran through and reserves are proven."
"Wow", Alice says, "you really know your stuff! And that is easy to use! What about fiat balances?" "Yeah, we have an auditor too", Bob replies, "Been using him for a long time so we have quite a strong relationship going! We have special books we give him every year and he's very efficient! Checks the fiat, crypto, and everything all at once!"

"We used to have a nice offline multi-sig setup we've been using without issue for the past 5 years, but I think we'll move all our funds over to your facility," Alice says. "Awesome", Bob replies, "Thanks so much! This is perfect timing too - my Porsche got a dent on it this morning. We have the paperwork right over here." "Great!", Alice replies.
And with that, Alice gets out her pen and Bob gets the contract. "Don't worry", he says, "you can take your crypto-assets back anytime you like - just subject to our cancellation policy. Our annual management fees are also super low and we don't adjust them often".

How many holes have to exist for your funds to get stolen?
Just one.

Why are we taking a powerful offline multi-sig setup, widely used globally in hundreds of different/lacking regulatory environments with 0 breaches to date, and circumventing it by a demonstrably weak third party layer? And paying a great expense to do so?
If you go through the list of breaches in the past 2 years to highly credible organizations, you go through the list of major corporate frauds (only the ones we know about), you go through the list of all the times platforms have lost funds, you go through the list of times and ways that people have lost their crypto from identity theft, hot wallet exploits, extortion, etc... and then you go through this custodian with a fine-tooth comb and truly believe they have value to add far beyond what you could, sticking your funds in a wallet (or set of wallets) they control exclusively is the absolute worst possible way to take advantage of that security.

The best way to add security for crypto-assets is to make a stronger multi-sig. With one custodian, what you are doing is giving them your cryptocurrency and hoping they're honest, competent, and flawlessly secure. It's no different than storing it on a really secure exchange. Maybe the insurance will cover you. Didn't work for Bitpay in 2015. Didn't work for Yapizon in 2017. Insurance has never paid a claim in the entire history of cryptocurrency. But maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe your exact scenario will buck the trend and be what they're willing to cover. After the large deductible and hopefully without a long and expensive court battle.

And you want to advertise this increase in risk, the lapse of judgement, an accident waiting to happen, as though it's some kind of benefit to customers ("Free institutional-grade storage for your digital assets.")? And then some people are writing to the OSC that custodians should be mandatory for all funds on every exchange platform? That this somehow will make Canadians as a whole more secure or better protected compared with standard air-gapped multi-sig? On what planet?

Most of the problems in Canada stemmed from one thing - a lack of transparency. If Canadians had known what a joke Quadriga was - it wouldn't have grown to lose $400m from hard-working Canadians from coast to coast to coast. And Gerald Cotten would be in jail, not wherever he is now (at best, rotting peacefully). EZ-BTC and mister Dave Smilie would have been a tiny little scam to his friends, not a multi-million dollar fraud. Einstein would have got their act together or been shut down BEFORE losing millions and millions more in people's funds generously donated to criminals. MapleChange wouldn't have even been a thing. And maybe we'd know a little more about CoinTradeNewNote - like how much was lost in there. Almost all of the major losses with cryptocurrency exchanges involve deception with unbacked funds.
So it's great to see transparency reports from BitBuy and ShakePay where someone independently verified the backing. The only thing we don't have is:
It's not complicated to validate cryptocurrency assets. They need to exist, they need to be spendable, and they need to cover the total balances. There are plenty of credible people and firms across the country that have the capacity to reasonably perform this validation. Having more frequent checks by different, independent, parties who publish transparent reports is far more valuable than an annual check by a single "more credible/official" party who does the exact same basic checks and may or may not publish anything. Here's an example set of requirements that could be mandated:
There are ways to structure audits such that neither crypto assets nor customer information are ever put at risk, and both can still be properly validated and publicly verifiable. There are also ways to structure audits such that they are completely reasonable for small platforms and don't inhibit innovation in any way. By making the process as reasonable as possible, we can completely eliminate any reason/excuse that an honest platform would have for not being audited. That is arguable far more important than any incremental improvement we might get from mandating "the best of the best" accountants. Right now we have nothing mandated and tons of Canadians using offshore exchanges with no oversight whatsoever.

Transparency does not prove crypto assets are safe. CoinTradeNewNote, Flexcoin ($600k), and Canadian Bitcoins ($100k) are examples where crypto-assets were breached from platforms in Canada. All of them were online wallets and used no multi-sig as far as any records show. This is consistent with what we see globally - air-gapped multi-sig wallets have an impeccable record, while other schemes tend to suffer breach after breach. We don't actually know how much CoinTrader lost because there was no visibility. Rather than publishing details of what happened, the co-founder of CoinTrader silently moved on to found another platform - the "most trusted way to buy and sell crypto" - a site that has no information whatsoever (that I could find) on the storage practices and a FAQ advising that “[t]rading cryptocurrency is completely safe” and that having your own wallet is “entirely up to you! You can certainly keep cryptocurrency, or fiat, or both, on the app.” Doesn't sound like much was learned here, which is really sad to see.
It's not that complicated or unreasonable to set up a proper hardware wallet. Multi-sig can be learned in a single course. Something the equivalent complexity of a driver's license test could prevent all the cold storage exploits we've seen to date - even globally. Platform operators have a key advantage in detecting and preventing fraud - they know their customers far better than any custodian ever would. The best job that custodians can do is to find high integrity individuals and train them to form even better wallet signatories. Rather than mandating that all platforms expose themselves to arbitrary third party risks, regulations should center around ensuring that all signatories are background-checked, properly trained, and using proper procedures. We also need to make sure that signatories are empowered with rights and responsibilities to reject and report fraud. They need to know that they can safely challenge and delay a transaction - even if it turns out they made a mistake. We need to have an environment where mistakes are brought to the surface and dealt with. Not one where firms and people feel the need to hide what happened. In addition to a knowledge-based test, an auditor can privately interview each signatory to make sure they're not in coercive situations, and we should make sure they can freely and anonymously report any issues without threat of retaliation.
A proper multi-sig has each signature held by a separate person and is governed by policies and mutual decisions instead of a hierarchy. It includes at least one redundant signature. For best results, 3of4, 3of5, 3of6, 4of5, 4of6, 4of7, 5of6, or 5of7.

History has demonstrated over and over again the risk of hot wallets even to highly credible organizations. Nonetheless, many platforms have hot wallets for convenience. While such losses are generally compensated by platforms without issue (for example Poloniex, Bitstamp, Bitfinex, Gatecoin, Coincheck, Bithumb, Zaif, CoinBene, Binance, Bitrue, Bitpoint, Upbit, VinDAX, and now KuCoin), the public tends to focus more on cases that didn't end well. Regardless of what systems are employed, there is always some level of risk. For that reason, most members of the public would prefer to see third party insurance.
Rather than trying to convince third party profit-seekers to provide comprehensive insurance and then relying on an expensive and slow legal system to enforce against whatever legal loopholes they manage to find each and every time something goes wrong, insurance could be run through multiple exchange operators and regulators, with the shared interest of having a reputable industry, keeping costs down, and taking care of Canadians. For example, a 4 of 7 multi-sig insurance fund held between 5 independent exchange operators and 2 regulatory bodies. All Canadian exchanges could pay premiums at a set rate based on their needed coverage, with a higher price paid for hot wallet coverage (anything not an air-gapped multi-sig cold wallet). Such a model would be much cheaper to manage, offer better coverage, and be much more reliable to payout when needed. The kind of coverage you could have under this model is unheard of. You could even create something like the CDIC to protect Canadians who get their trading accounts hacked if they can sufficiently prove the loss is legitimate. In cases of fraud, gross negligence, or insolvency, the fund can be used to pay affected users directly (utilizing the last transparent balance report in the worst case), something which private insurance would never touch. While it's recommended to have official policies for coverage, a model where members vote would fully cover edge cases. (Could be similar to the Supreme Court where justices vote based on case law.)
Such a model could fully protect all Canadians across all platforms. You can have a fiat coverage governed by legal agreements, and crypto-asset coverage governed by both multi-sig and legal agreements. It could be practical, affordable, and inclusive.

Now, we are at a crossroads. We can happily give up our freedom, our innovation, and our money. We can pay hefty expenses to auditors, lawyers, and regulators year after year (and make no mistake - this cost will grow to many millions or even billions as the industry grows - and it will be borne by all Canadians on every platform because platforms are not going to eat up these costs at a loss). We can make it nearly impossible for any new platform to enter the marketplace, forcing Canadians to use the same stagnant platforms year after year. We can centralize and consolidate the entire industry into 2 or 3 big players and have everyone else fail (possibly to heavy losses of users of those platforms). And when a flawed security model doesn't work and gets breached, we can make it even more complicated with even more people in suits making big money doing the job that blockchain was supposed to do in the first place. We can build a system which is so intertwined and dependent on big government, traditional finance, and central bankers that it's future depends entirely on that of the fiat system, of fractional banking, and of government bail-outs. If we choose this path, as history has shown us over and over again, we can not go back, save for revolution. Our children and grandchildren will still be paying the consequences of what we decided today.
Or, we can find solutions that work. We can maintain an open and innovative environment while making the adjustments we need to make to fully protect Canadian investors and cryptocurrency users, giving easy and affordable access to cryptocurrency for all Canadians on the platform of their choice, and creating an environment in which entrepreneurs and problem solvers can bring those solutions forward easily. None of the above precludes innovation in any way, or adds any unreasonable cost - and these three policies would demonstrably eliminate or resolve all 109 historic cases as studied here - that's every single case researched so far going back to 2011. It includes every loss that was studied so far not just in Canada but globally as well.
Unfortunately, finding answers is the least challenging part. Far more challenging is to get platform operators and regulators to agree on anything. My last post got no response whatsoever, and while the OSC has told me they're happy for industry feedback, I believe my opinion alone is fairly meaningless. This takes the whole community working together to solve. So please let me know your thoughts. Please take the time to upvote and share this with people. Please - let's get this solved and not leave it up to other people to do.

Facts/background/sources (skip if you like):



Thoughts?
submitted by azoundria2 to QuadrigaInitiative [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 16:11 QiSwap QiSwap Third week of Testnet

QiSwap Third week of Testnet
QiSwap Testnet has now turned 3 weeks young!.

Happy 3 week bday!!!

Community response has been better than we initially expected. We're thrilled to announce that we now have a defined date for Main Net Release. Ready?

QiSwap MainNet Launch

Finally! we are now ready for prime time, the date is October 25th 2020. On this day, QiSwap will enable a public interface using the Qtum blockchain Main Net.
There are some details waiting to be finalized, these will be published in the coming days and before Main Net release. This of course includes information about the Qi token as well as the actual token list that will come online with QiSwap Main Net release.

More information to be announced:


  • QiSwap LitePaper
  • Token Economics
  • Listing of the Qi Token in other exchanges

Testnet results so far

This Testnet run has been very productive for all parties involved, our community members have been able to test and use a more powerful and user friendly DEX. QiSwap was designed with end users in mind and we've always taken into account daily feedback from our users.

Key points from the current Testnet


  • Over 100 users on Testnet
  • Qi incentives of 0.02% for Testnet users (these will be distributed after MainNet launch)
  • Still time to participate in the contest until MainNet releases
  • Platform speedups and improvements
  • Tips from community members turned into platform improvements
  • Dozens and Dozens of bugs squashed!

QiSwap Learn

Any platform, old and new needs documentation, this is why we've set up our own learning site, this will be the getting started place for newcomers as well as for advanced users who just want to learn new tricks. Come take a look at:
https://learn.qiswap.com/

Social

We're also growing our social options with the official announcement of our Discord channel (although some users joined before the announcement). At the same time, we're announcing telegram groups for Chinese, Korean and Spanish languages. Here they are:

Discord Channel

https://discord.gg/WTJ3zcq

Telegram Groups

English https://t.me/qiswapofficial
Chinese https://t.me/QiSwapchinese
Korean https://t.me/QiSwapkorea
Spanish https://t.me/qiswapspanish
submitted by QiSwap to defi [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 13:13 RonnieMeddox Bumble Alternatives and Similar Apps

Hello everyone
Is Bumble just a hookup app? Is there anything better than tinder? Is Bumble a good dating site? Yes, so many questions...
What Is Bumble?
A free location-based dating app that uses a format similar to Tinder.
Often known as the feminist dating app, Bumble is one of today’s most popular online dating platforms. Created by Tinder co-founder Whitney Wolfe, Bumble is worth over $1 billion and constantly rolling out new updates to keep up with their customer’s needs.
Like Tinder, the app is based on users swiping right (for yes) or left (for no) as they see profiles and potential matches in their area, but with one key difference: After two heterosexual people match on Bumble, the woman has to message the man first.
As for me I don't like this app and prefer these dating websites and apps:
https://www.hoo-kupbestsites.yt/
Bye for now
submitted by RonnieMeddox to MYDatingBestSites [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 13:10 RoySavaretto What is the best dating site?

What is the best dating site?
If you’re single and looking for a serious relationship, you know where the scene is. It’s online. But you will ask that what is the best dating site and apps for you? There are so many different dating apps. As we all know it is difficult to cater for all tastes. Some singles like date BBW, some are interested in millionaires or old men want to date young women, old women want to date young men and so on.
There are a lot of different kinds of apps you can choose.
As for me - I like these dating sites:
-->
https://dating-sites-apps.blogspot.com/

Good luck
submitted by RoySavaretto to DatingSoHard [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 11:03 somethingsecretuknow Can someone help me make sense of this?

I’m grateful to anyone who reads this and would sincerely appreciate a response! 🙏🏻
I am a 26 year old female in a big city. I don’t have a problem online dating and finding people to talk to. I have huge problem with keeping them!
I have a lot of trust issues/anxiety/depression/horrible past relationships etc I also used to be way heavier than I am now and now that I’ve lost, the attention from guys is extremely overwhelming to me.
Started talking with 35 year old male and I was very much attracted he said he’s Christian and looking for a relationship..
We hit it off immediately banter wise/connection but I noticed he was being pushy from the get go wanting my number fast within the first few hours of talking.. I like to wait a few days, but since I was so attracted I gave him my number on day 2. He would begin to start texting me morning/noon/night! Because I was so attracted.. at first it was very very flattering and wanted.
Let this be known we talked 5 days total including on the site and he immediately started calling me pets names etc.
So, on day 2,3,4 he is texting all hours and calling me pet names over and over again, he sent videos of him and his siblings/nieces/nephews, over using emojis and heart eyes/kisses, calls me “baby” “hi, my queen” “Why am I so delicious” “beautiful” “I turn him on” etc
We ended up video chatting and he wasn’t as needy as the texts at all! The only thing was he asked me on our first video call if I wanted to get married, kids, am I looking for a boyfriend, asked a lot about family and upbringing etc
I understand these are normal questions, but we just matched the day before and I gave him my number that day and he was already asking extremely personal questions. I thought our first video chat was to confirm we’re both real and see if we connect. So, I was very off put by how strong and forward he was being.
Then as soon as we end video chat he would text and dote all over me and send emojis or a pet name or ask for a picture and try to continue the conversation. After the first video chat he sent this long message after of how he’s “NEVER met anyone like me and that I’m so unique and special and that he just knows I’m different he can feel it and how much he liked me” etc.. we just spoke for an hour over video chat..
He then would text me good morning and keep it going all day and night. He texted after every video chat. (3-4) times. Also, if I didn’t answer the first time he would call or chat he would try again 3-4 times and text “hey” instead of giving me time to call back.
I texted him I was on a walk and he then called just to chat.. and then asked me “So, what did you think of our video chat?” I said “I thought it was great..you?” He said “it was amazingg. It really was” he then asks what I thought about it and I said something like “uh, it was great I didn’t think anything bad” I could tell he noticed my awkward tone. After this I pulled back on texting and emoji use.
I could feel the awkward start to grow because I didn’t feel my time or space was being respected and I felt like he was asking me that just so I can reassure him or boost his ego. It just seemed odd I’d never had that asked like that before.
I’m sure this is normal for some, but it takes me a while to warm up I am not used to all of this so soon. It was beginning to feel like we were in a relationship even though we barely started talking.
I accidentally sent him a text message and I said “Sorry, that wasn’t for you” He said something like “lolol talking to another guy?” Then said “You better not talk to other boys” and said it again on video chat. This was a red flag, but I wrote it off as he was “joking” because it seemed he was at the time.
I didn’t know how to express my feelings because I was beginning to like him because despite him coming on so strong there was definitely a connection and spark. No doubt!
I grew very annoyed and cold because I felt he wasn’t respecting me. I already told him I want to get to know him slowly and that I’m not comfortable sending a lot of videos/selfie’s of myself until I know someone but I’m very much interested!
I couldn’t take it anymore he wasn’t asking about my day, and it seemed like he was becoming obsessed with the idea of me and I felt like I was losing my freedom even after just days. I just didn’t think it was healthy to go so fast. I pulled back because I was beginning to like him and in my past experience every time I’ve rushed it’s crashed and burned so I’m very cautious now especially in the beginning!
We were messaging and then he again instead of asking about my day was asking me to send pictures. I told him something along the lines of..
“Look I really like you, but I feel like I’ve sent enough pictures of myself for now. I am in the middle of moving and working on my business and like I’ve mentioned before I’m a private person and will send more once we get to know each other so please be patient with me and understand this!”
He sent “where are you moving?”
I said something like..
“I do not know yet still looking. So, just in the process right now, but I’m not moving away just places.. I have a video I found maybe I can share with you later”
And, I also sent a 2 second video of me saying hi with a peace sign..
I thought we were good and I took a nap and woke up to this long message response and I do not remember much because I was upset, but he went on and said “how shady I’m being and something about wasting his time.”
I said “how offended I was and how it’s not wrong to be a private person who values their time and just because he’s comfortable doing that all day I’m not and I don’t owe him anything” I said more but I don’t remember.. He left me on read
So, I left it there for the night and messaged him “good afternoon” the next day. He responded the same but was clearly not wanting to talk. We eventually talked but I got upset again because we were going back and forth it was just awkward so I said..
“what’s going on”
he then said
“This is all too much for me. This isn’t going to work. You’re just too shy for me. It’s too much! We barely even know each other” etc
This really struck a cord with me and I got upset and sent a long message. I honestly don’t remember but it was something along the lines of..
“how funny me being shy was the most favorite thing about me on video chat and that he needs to be careful with his words because it’s not fair to lead someone on with them and call them pet names all day to Love Bomb them, talk about the future etc and then just say oh never mind you’re too this or that”
I thought it was very careless because he Love Bombed me for days and now because I don’t send enough pictures to his liking he’s saying this. FYI he never asked or sent a nude. Everything was PG he just would want selfies of me, my day etc
I also said “we should restart as friends”
He said “okay”
I tried to restart things by sending a couple short videos and he left me on read. I got so embarrassed I just said
“goodnight”
He said it back and then I was so embarrassed he didn’t respond to my videos I disabled my dating site and messaging app.
He’s not blocked on texts and I don’t know if I am.
My conflict is although he annoyed me and bombarded me with affection. I still was beginning to like him and his humor! We had a lot of fun moments talking and I was excited to hang out!
Because of my struggle with anxiety/trusting others it’s hard for me to see clearly with this. I want to reach out again because there honestly was a sincere connection there, but his actions at times made me so uncomfortable and I don’t know if I’m wrong. Now I feel like it’s my fault and I lost a great connection and I should’ve just sent more stuff of myself!
I just got so overwhelmed and now I feel like I must’ve done something wrong. I feel a little sucked in, in a way because of all the Love Bombing and attention. I’m confused.
Was I overreacting or did I dodge a bullet? Am I at fault?
I really need some clear minds here 🙏🏻🙏🏻 Any advice is appreciated.
TLDR; Female 26 years old Started talking with Male 35 years old online. Total 5 days talking and we immediately connected and were attracted to one another. We hit it off talking, but as soon as I gave my number I felt the texting was too much and he was calling me pet names, over using heart and kissy emojis, asking over and over to send selfie’s/videos. Finally got too overwhelmed and we clashed and then I friendzoned him now it’s awkward and we’re not talking. We were supposed to meet next week. Feeling guilty like it’s my fault. Not sure if I should try and amend this at all?
submitted by somethingsecretuknow to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 06:23 clowdybluebye [TOMT][GAME] Obscure kids online game with pixel shoulder-up avatars with flash games, many theming around environmentalism and health

The site feels dated, much of the content of the site feeling very early 2000s, but not quite pre-2005-ish? The background color of the site was dark blue, almost indigo. The avatars of the people that play the game were pixel art busts that were HEAVILY customizable. I vaguely remember that people could set up part shops and that there were even people that stuck close to the scene-kid aesthetic. It reminds me of Club Penguin with the way you navigated your character by clicking from within the screen. There was even some kind of barber shop(?) where people could give each other makeovers with their parts that they owned.
There were also minigames, Flash I'm assuming, and I don't remember if you could earn currency or any kind of "points" by playing them. I remember vividly there being some kind of recycling minigame, there being another around making a healthy meal that abides by the food plate/pyramid, and maybbeee one that themed around underwater creatures or sharks (I'm unsure if this is a false memory or not, but it's better for me to mention it anyways in case it IS a game that existed on the site). You could also get some kind of online safety certificate after completing a survey on the site that asks basic internet safety questions, one of them asking something along the lines of if answering the question "ASL" is safe or not.
The site doesn't seem to be listed anywhere that I can find. Maybe it was taken down?
submitted by clowdybluebye to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 00:24 willwol1 Should I reach out to a (lost) friend?

Hi, please excuse the formatting, I barely use this site.
Okay, context:
When I was 15 I lied about my age to be accepted into this online group (said I was 16) for gay men. I wasn't expecting anything to come out of it, just wanted to feel accepted by people like me I guess.
I ended up meeting someone, let's call him Zach. Zach (aged 16 at the time) and I became friends, and we continued talking to one another online for about a year. Sometime during the year, I took my GCSE's, so, maintaining the lie, I became distant from him to ensure he wouldn't find out I wasn't in the same year group as him. Over the summer of 2019, we became increasingly close, and he became one of my closest friends, even if we had never met in real life before.
Of course, like any lie, it becomes uncovered. In December 2019, he found out. He was mad at me, and stupidly, in the midst of a panic surrounding my fear of losing one of my closest friends, I told another lie and said I was held back a year at school, and that was why I lied.
In retrospect, that was completely ridiculous. I should've just said I lied in the first place. I'd like to admit I've spent time in therapy and have worked through my habit for compulsive lying with a trained professional.
We continued being close friends, prior to the pandemic, I was phoning him at least once a day, with me still lying about my age. (At this point, he was 18, I was 17 pretending to be 18).
Of course, lockdown happened. I ended up spending almost all day on facetime to him, looking back I think he was the only thing keeping myself from a huge mental health breakdown. By June I considered him to be my best friend. (I had planned on meeting him at Easter, once I passed my drivers test, but of course, that was cancelled. I re-planned for August hoping the pandemic would've calmed by then, but again, it hadn't, and I still hadn't taken my driving test)
We only had one argument, in May, where we didn't talk for around a week before we apologised to one another and resumed our friendship. I considered whether I could've had feelings for him at this point, but I realised he was too similar to me to date him.
I cannot stress how close I felt to him, I would spend most of the morning waiting for him to call me and then spend practically all day on facetime with him. He really was my best friend.
In August, he went on holiday so we lost contact for around a week, except one day where he snuck out to call me at 2 am (his parents are strict, even though he's 18. I always thought it was weird but we joked about it).
Cut to mid-august, he mentions on facetime he found my mother's Facebook and had been stalking it, we joked together about the stuff she posts.
The very next day, I get no response from him. I put this down to him having a bad mental health day and offer my support. Still no response. The next day, no response. And the next. And the next.
Eventually, I realise, I practically forgot I was holding this lie about my age. I have no idea what happened, but I assume he found a post my mother put on Facebook on my birthday stating my age, and he felt so betrayed and upset that he decided to cut ties with me.
Pretty much cried for a week. At first, I was worried about his health, I considered reaching out to one of his friends but then he posted on his Snapchat, so I knew he was okay at least.
It's been two months, the longest two months of my life. I thought I would stop missing him, but I haven't. But he's moved on. He's in university now and I'm in my final year of A-Levels, I unfollowed all his socials in hope that the pain I felt would end, but here I am.
So, here is my question: Do I reach out to him? I don't even know why he's mad at me. I don't even know if he's mad at me. I want to apologise to him, and selfishly I want us to rekindle our friendship, but I'm worried we've changed too much in the past two months.
I know he hasn't blocked me, but I don't know if it's right to try and get in contact with Zach again.
What are your thoughts?
submitted by willwol1 to AskGayMen [link] [comments]


2020.10.19 00:23 willwol1 Should I (17M) reach out to a lost friend (18M)?

Hi, please excuse the formatting, I barely use this site.
Okay, context:
When I was 15, I lied about my age to be accepted into this online group (said I was 16) for gay men. I wasn't expecting anything to come out of it, I just wanted to feel accepted by people like me I guess.
I ended up meeting someone, Zach. Zach (aged 16 at the time) and I became friends, and we continued talking to one another online for about a year. We were very similar people, both being (obviously) gay, and we had the same interests. Sometime during the year, I took my GCSE's, so, maintaining the lie, I became distant from him to ensure he wouldn't find out I wasn't in the same year group as him. Over the summer of 2019, we became increasingly close, and he became one of my closest friends, even if we had never met in real life before.
Of course, like any lie, it becomes uncovered. In December 2019, he found out. He was mad at me, and stupidly, in the midst of a panic surrounding my fear of losing one of my closest friends, I told another lie and said I was held back a year at school, and that was why I lied.
In retrospect, that was completely ridiculous. I should've just said I lied in the first place. I want to admit I've spent time in therapy and have worked through my habit of compulsive lying with a trained professional.
We continued being close friends, before the pandemic, I was phoning him at least once a day, with me still lying about my age. (At this point, he was 18, I was 17 pretending to be 18).
Of course, lockdown happened. I ended up spending almost all day on facetime to him, looking back, I think he was the only thing keeping myself from a huge mental health breakdown. By June I considered him to be my best friend. (I had planned on meeting him at Easter, once I passed my drivers test, but of course, that was cancelled. I re-planned for August hoping the pandemic would've calmed by then, but again, it hadn't, and I still hadn't taken my driving test)
We only had one argument, in May, where we didn't talk for around a week before we apologised to one another and resumed our friendship. I considered whether I could've had feelings for him at this point, but I realised he was too similar to me to date him.
I cannot stress how close I felt to him, I would spend most of the morning waiting for him to call me and then spend practically all day on facetime with him. He really was my best friend.
In August, he went on holiday so we lost contact for around a week, except one day where he snuck out to call me at 2 am (his parents are strict, even though he's 18. I always thought it was weird but we joked about it).
Cut to mid-august, he mentions on facetime he found my mother's Facebook and had been stalking it, we joked together about the stuff she posts.
The forthcoming day, I got no response from him. I put this down to him having a bad mental health day and offer my support. Still no response. The next day, no response. And the next. And the next.
Eventually, I realise, I practically forgot I was holding this lie about my age. I have no idea what happened, but I assume he found a post my mother put on Facebook on my birthday stating my age, and he felt so betrayed and upset that he decided to cut ties with me.
Pretty much cried for a week. At first, I was worried about his health. I considered reaching out to one of his friends, but then he posted on his Snapchat, so I knew he was okay at least.
It's been two months, the longest two months of my life. I thought I would stop missing him, but I didn't. However, he's moved on. He's in university now and I'm in my final year of A-Levels. I unfollowed all his socials in hope that the pain I felt would end, but here I am.
So, here is my question: Do I reach out to him? I don't even know why he's mad at me. I don't even know if he's mad at me. I want to apologise to him, and selfishly I want us to rekindle our friendship, but I'm worried we've changed too much in the past two months.
I know he hasn't blocked me, but I don't know if it's right to try and get in contact with Zach again.
What are your thoughts?
submitted by willwol1 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 23:46 mrbuddhawannabe Online Dating photos - Is it me?

As a single, heterosexual, male Baby Boomer who uses online dating websites to find a romantic partner; I sometimes wonder how women decide to present themselves the way that they do?
I have a couple of women friends from early 50s upward to early 70s who are online. I know it is harder for them as women because us men quickly judge them on their physical appearances as well as their age. Some of them have put their age to be younger so that they can pass through the age filter. Their experience is that us men tend to focus on women 10-20 years younger than them, e.g. men in their 70s are searching for women younger than their 60s.
I have seen women who have their photos with posing with their grandchildren, who just have they cute little doggies without their owners, who have posted their vacation photos again without them in it and who have their adult children and grandchildren without themselves in the photo as well.
I understand the logic where their lives are defined by their grandchildren, pets, and places that they have gone to. Is it only me that is not really interested in all that in order for me to want to reach out to them? I would be OK in hearing about their grandchildren, adult children, pets, and vacations once I started dating them but frankly, it's a turn off for me to wade through this looking for photos of them. I am not interested in dating their children, grandchildren, pets or care where they went for me to swipe right or whatever OLD site acknowledgement.
For OLD purposes, I see this process as a hiring manager who is looking at a stack of resumes and trying to find the one that fits the position. I see my OLD profile as an ad for me so that the person looking at it is intrigued enough to check me out further.
I'd be interested in hearing from those of you who do post such photos and how successful it has been for you.
submitted by mrbuddhawannabe to OnlineDating [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 23:45 mrbuddhawannabe Online Dating photos - Is it me?

As a single, heterosexual, male Baby Boomer who uses online dating websites to find a romantic partner; I sometimes wonder how women decide to present themselves the way that they do?
I have a couple of women friends from early 50s upward to early 70s who are online. I know it is harder for them as women because us men quickly judge them on their physical appearances as well as their age. Some of them have put their age to be younger so that they can pass through the age filter. Their experience is that us men tend to focus on women 10-20 years younger than them, e.g. men in their 70s are searching for women younger than their 60s.
I have seen women who have their photos with posing with their grandchildren, who just have they cute little doggies without their owners, who have posted their vacation photos again without them in it and who have their adult children and grandchildren without themselves in the photo as well.
I understand the logic where their lives are defined by their grandchildren, pets, and places that they have gone to. Is it only me that is not really interested in all that in order for me to want to reach out to them? I would be OK in hearing about their grandchildren, adult children, pets, and vacations once I started dating them but frankly, it's a turn off for me to wade through this looking for photos of them. I am not interested in dating their children, grandchildren, pets or care where they went for me to swipe right or whatever OLD site acknowledgement.
For OLD purposes, I see this process as a hiring manager who is looking at a stack of resumes and trying to find the one that fits the position. I see my OLD profile as an ad for me so that the person looking at it is intrigued enough to check me out further.
I'd be interested in hearing from those of you who do post such photos and how successful it has been for you.
submitted by mrbuddhawannabe to datingoverfifty [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 23:31 Snackerfice WANTED: AMA & Subject Matter Expert Guest

Hello! My name is Ali /Snackerfice , I'd like to invite Porn Addicts, Sex Addicts, Recovered Addicts, Partners/former Partners of Addicts, CSATs and SA Recovery Professionals, and former Sex Workers / Porn Industry workers to participate in the Reddit NoPMO community for an "Ask Me Anything" Q & A session. An AMA is like a fun, free form interview with the questions asked by our community. If you want a further idea of what an AMA looks like you can see previous AMAs:
Circumcision for Sex Addiction AMA Dating Coach Child Sex Trafficking Victim New job as Sex Worker Here are our currently scheduled upcoming AMAs: Sundays as available, Wednesday alternating
Reddit.com is one of the largest social networking/interest group sites on the internet. It is made up of thousands of communities that are created and moderated by volunteers such as myself. We have a growing number of readers come through the site each day as the online porn industry begins to reach younger and more wide spread consumer targets originally unaware of the damaging effects of dopamine cycles. It is a great place for healing, healers, healed and Partners of Addicts, at risk vulnerable people and the generally curious to interact.
The time commitment is typically around 2 hours on a day and time that would suit you. You would choose which questions you would like to answer. We would be incredibly delighted to have you join us and share answers to very popular questions, subjects, and resources among our subscribers & I know they’d love to hear from you. Please let me know if you would be interested and if there are any questions I can answer about and the Ask Me Anything process.
Best wishes, Ali/ [Snackerfice ] Volunteer Moderator, /NoPMOWANTED: AMA for NoPMO; Subject Matter Experts
submitted by Snackerfice to NoPMO [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 21:53 Familiar-Mountain-91 Is this grooming? Not sure what to feel about it

I have a brother (23) who's been in a relationship with a woman (39) for almost 4 years. They got engaged last year and post-poned their 2021 wedding to 2022. There's no ring and my brother already spent a thousand dollars on himself instead of their wedding and future plans. Here's some background:
So about my parents. They're not the best parents. They tend to treat us like our self-worth is measured by how much salary we make from a "top tier" career. We also don't have our real dad anymore and instead got a step dad with huge anger issues. They have zero boundaries and I think my brother internalized that and learned to not be honest about his feelings, does not know how to communicate, does not know how to properly say no, is a people-pleaser, and will take anyone who gives him bare minimum approval. There's been a ton of experiences that lead me to believe this. What makes it even more worse is that everyone is scared to have an honest conversation with my brother about his relationship because they are worried they will hurt themselves or each other. Yes, the anxiety and depression is that bad. I told him that I don't think marriage is a good idea for him, but I'm here for him no matter what. Though I honestly do not want to pay for any child services or alimony that may come. I suggested he see a therapist (for other mental problems other than anxiety and depression) and he's considering it.
I'm trying to keep an open mind, but at the same time it does make me rather uncomfortable. Especially the way they treat each other. My brother claims he's able to be himself around her, but I don't see it at all. He "mansplains" everything to look smart in front of her and treats her like she's dumb. She treats him like a little kid. She stopped coming by every week because apparently she's busy, but I think she was offended when I told her to stop contacting me (she obtained my email somehow and I don't know how because we never speak) about their wedding. But it could totally not be the reason and I'm just being narcissistic and everything is just a coincidence! My brother knows how everyone feels about it, but my parents give mixed signals (they invite her out for vacation, pretend to plan wedding stuff with her). I've mainly just been avoiding them, but keeping an eye out for my brother by making sure he's not too depressed. I just don't know what to make of this. Can someone with more experience about this offer advice on where to put my mindset on this? I'm trying to think of positive things about her, but I mostly feel resentment.
TL;DR My emotionally stunted brother is in an unhealthy relationship with a woman 15 (?) years his senior and I am close to my brother, so I don't know how to be less stressed out about it every single day.
submitted by Familiar-Mountain-91 to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 20:15 Familiar-Mountain-91 How do I wrap my head around this age gap?

I have a brother (23) who's been in a relationship with a woman (39) for almost 4 years. They got engaged last year and post-poned their 2021 wedding to 2022. There's no ring and my brother already spent a thousand dollars on himself instead of their wedding and future plans. Here's some background:
So about my parents. They're not the best parents. They tend to treat us like our self-worth is measured by how much salary we make from a "top tier" career. We also don't have our real dad anymore and instead got a step dad with huge anger issues. They have zero boundaries and I think my brother internalized that and learned to not be honest about his feelings, does not know how to communicate, does not know how to properly say no, is a people-pleaser, and will take anyone who gives him bare minimum approval. There's been a ton of experiences that lead me to believe this. What makes it even more worse is that everyone is scared to have an honest conversation with my brother about his relationship because they are worried they will hurt themselves or each other. Yes, the anxiety and depression is that bad. I told him that I don't think marriage is a good idea for him, but I'm here for him no matter what. Though I honestly do not want to pay for any child services or alimony that may come. I suggested he see a therapist (for other mental problems other than anxiety and depression) and he's considering it.
I'm trying to keep an open mind, but at the same time it does make me rather uncomfortable. Especially the way they treat each other. My brother claims he's able to be himself around her, but I don't see it at all. He "mansplains" everything to look smart in front of her and treats her like she's dumb. She treats him like a little kid. She stopped coming by every week because apparently she's busy, but I think she was offended when I told her to stop contacting me (she obtained my email somehow and I don't know how because we never speak) about their wedding. But it could totally not be the reason and I'm just being narcissistic and everything is just a coincidence! My brother knows how everyone feels about it, but my parents give mixed signals (they invite her out for vacation, pretend to plan wedding stuff with her). I've mainly just been avoiding them, but keeping an eye out for my brother by making sure he's not too depressed. I just don't know what to make of this. Can someone with more experience about this offer advice on where to put my mindset on this?
submitted by Familiar-Mountain-91 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 18:15 llaverna Weekly Round-Up: October 12th - October 18th

Weekly Round-Up: October 12th - October 18th
/bangtan Weekly Round-Up
Previous thread: October 5th - October 11th
This round-up is for everything that happened in the /bangtan realm within the past week, compiled for your convenience! If you have feedback, please leave a comment or send me a PM.
The latest weekly round-up is linked on the sidebar of the subreddit. The link to the archive of past round-up posts can always be found in the wiki index.

Special

Date Thread
201013 Jawsh 685 AMA

Megathreads

Date Thread
201013 Happy Jimin day! [Birthday Compilation thread] - 2020
201014 BTS @ the 2020 Billboard Music Awards (BBMAs)

News & Information

Date Thread
201012 Big Hit Entertainment says that a total of 993,000 viewers from 191 countries watched "Map of the Soul ON:E" on Oct. 10 & 11
201011 MAP OF THE SOUL ON:E Customer Experience Survey
201012 You can now connect your ARMY Bomb 'Ver.3' and 'MAP OF THE SOUL SPECIAL EDITION' to 'Persona' Comeback Trailer MV
201012 'Savage Love' (Laxed – Siren Beat) [BTS Remix] is #1 on Billboard Hot 100
201012 'Dynamite' is #2 on Billboard Hot 100 for its 7th week
201012 BTS is the first group to simultaneously rank at #1 and #2 on the Hot 100 in over a decade
201015 KPop Herald: Live reporting of BigHit IPO listing (thread)
201015 Bloomberg Asia: K-pop group BTS's agency, Big Hit, soars up to 160% more than its IPO price
201016 MAX- Blueberry Eyes (feat. Suga) will be promoted to US Pop radio starting next week (Oct. 19)
201017 Recording Academy member Natalie Nicole confirms in a tweet BTS submitted 7 nominations for Grammys 2021, 4 for Dynamite and 3 for Map of the Soul 7
201017 "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" has added English subs to all BTS performances
201017 'Dynamite' receives 19th music show win on this week's MBC Music Core!

Merchandise news

Date Thread
201012 “Map of the Soul ON:E” livestream purchasers-only special merchandise is now available to preorder on Weverse Shop Global
201012 “Map of the Soul ON:E” concert merchandise is now available for all customers to preorder on Weverse Shop
201012 BTS POP-UP : MAP OF THE SOUL Online Store GLOBAL Guest Information & Purchasing Guide
201014 BTS Pop-up: MAP OF THE SOUL Online Store Press Release
201014 beWATER with BTS will be available to order on October 15 from 12PM KST on Weverse Shop Global (Korea delivery only)
201015 Limited Edition CD With Dynamite and All Remixes On Sale Now
201015 BigHit Official Merch: [BTS POP-UP : MAP OF THE SOUL Showcase in Seoul] Pre-reservation Guide
201016 BigHit Official Merch: Do your thang with me now #BTS_POPUP #MAP_OF_THE_SOUL #BlackSwan
201017 BigHit Official Merch: 가져와 Bring the pain oh yeah #BTS_POPUP #MAP_OF_THE_SOUL #ON

Expired news

Date Thread
201011 US Army: Reminder about Target's "Buy 2, Get 1 Free" deal that starts today and ends Oct 17! You can consider pre-ordering BE and/or SKA:LA from here.
201015 Big Hit IPO ceremony will broadcast live for 15 minutes from Big Hit YouTube Channel at 8:50am KST

Official Media

Type Date Link Thread
Bomb 201016 [BANGTAN BOMB] 'Dynamite' Stage CAM (BTS focus) @ BBMAs 2020 Thread
Bomb 201018 [BANGTAN BOMB] Who's That Shadow? Thread
In the SOOP 201013 [Behind] In the SOOP BTS ver. EP.8 Back to Our Everyday Life: Behind-the-scenes Thread
Teaser 201013 [PREVIEW] BTS (방탄소년단) 'Skool Luv Affair Special Addition' Thread

New Releases

Date Link Thread
201018 Docksim's Soundcloud: Save Me (ghost band interpretation) Thread

Official SNS

Date SNS Link Thread
201012 Weverse j-hope Thread
201012 Twitter Namjoon Thread
201013 Twitter Jimin Thread
201013 Twitter BigHit Entertainment Thread
201013 Twitter BTS Official Thread
201016 Weverse Compilation
201017 Weverse Compilation
201017 Twitter Seokjin Thread
201017 Twitter Bangtan Thread

CF & Partnerships

Date Thread
201012 [Hyundai Motors X BTS] BTS' QUALITY TIME!
201014 BODYFRIEND X BTS 2nd Behind The Scenes Teasers

Articles

Date Publisher Article Thread
201013 ET Online Lea Salonga Talking About the Power of BTS Thread
201013 The New York Times BTS Honored Korean War Sacrifices. Some in China Detected an Insult. Thread
201013 Forbes BTS Used to Benefit From Western Pop Stars Featuring On Their Songs. Now the Tables Have Turned Thread
201014 The New York Times BTS’s Loyal Army of Fans Is the Secret Weapon Behind a $4 Billion I.P.O. Thread
201014 BBC The BTS fans investing in their favourite K-pop band Thread
201014 TIME BTS's Parent Company Is Going Public. Here's How the Music Industry Could Replicate Its Massive Success Thread
201016 LaineyGossip BTS: Top Charts, Top Stocks Thread
201017 Slate The Strange, Globetrotting Story Behind America’s New No. 1 Song. Thread

SNS Mentions

NOTE: Entries with 💜 have new content directly involving BTS
Date 💜 Link Thread
201012 Kildren - 'V'Lack Thread
201013 Lionsgate: BTS x Lionsgate Universe Thread
201013 Michael Jackson Thread
201012 Bee Gees tweeted about BTS! Thread
201013 Son Sung Deok Instagram Thread
201012 BBMAs Who'd You Rather with Kelly Clarkson (She'd rather have BTS and ARMY bail her our of jail than the Jonas Brothers) Thread
201013 Chung Sye-kyun(정세균), South Korea’s prime minister, posted a message congratulating BTS for their #1 and #2 on the Hot 100 chart Thread
201013 💜 BBMAs: Now boarding with nonstop service to the #BBMAs! @BTS_twt hits the stage TOMORROW at 8/7c on NBC. #BTSxBBMAs Thread
201014 💜 BBMAs: Time to light the #BBMAs stage up like DYNAMITE! 💥 Thread
201015 💜 Charlie Puth (ft. JungKook) Thread

Other media

NOTE: Entries with 💜 have new content directly involving BTS
Type 💜 Date Link Thread
Cover 201018 BTS's Dynamite was performed on MBC King of the Masked Singer Thread
Photos 💜 201012 Kpop Herald: More photos from @BTS_twt' Map of the Soul: ON:E Thread
Video 💜 201012 BTS' special video message for BBMAs Thread
Video 💜 201012 Billboard Music Awards: We asked BTS a few questions before their performance this Wednesday... Thread
Video 201012 STREET DEBATE: Korean Men Discuss Whether BTS Should Receive Military Service Exemption Thread
Video 201016 [ENG] The reason why MV director apologized to V of BTS? / Comment Defenders / AYO / Reaction Thread
Other 201017 BTS - Black Swan Concept (Motion Graphics by Undesigned Museum for BTS Pop-Up Map of the Soul) Thread

Milestones

Type Date Thread
Charts/Sales 201012 BTS's "Filter" has now sold over 200,000 units in the US
Charts/Sales 201012 BTS' "Dynamite" extends its reign as the longest running #1 single on the Digital Song Sales chart this year (7th week; 94K sold)
Charts/Sales 201012 BTS Dynamite Has Surpassed 1mil Pure Sales In The US
Charts/Sales 201012 Forbes: BTS Claim The Two Bestselling Songs In The U.S. With ‘Dynamite’ And ‘Savage Love’
Charts/Sales 201012 "Savage Love (Laxed - Siren Beat)" also hits No. 1 on this week's #Global200 chart for the first time
Charts/Sales 201012 "Dynamite" is #3 on the Billboard Global 200
Charts/Sales 201012 "Dynamite" is #2 and "Savage Love (Laxed - Siren Beat)" debuts at #3 on the Billboard Global 200 Excl. U.S.
Charts/Sales 201014 "Skool Luv Affair Special Addition (re-issue)" by BTS was the #1 most sold album on Hanteo today with 81,888 sales!
Charts/Sales 201015 "Dynamite" has now spent 7 weeks at #1 in South Korea Gaon Digital Chart, the first and only song by a group in history to achieve this
Charts/Sales 201016 ‘Skool Luv Affair (Special Edition)’ has re-entered US iTunes!
Followers 201017 BTS Have Surpassed 30 MILLION Followers on Twitter & remain the Most Followed Korean Act on the platform
Likes 201018 With 19.655 million likes, "Dynamite" Official MV of @BTS_twt has now surpassed "Gangnam Style" and become the most liked MV of an Asian artist on YouTube
Streams 201014 BTS Is The #1 Most Streamed Artist On Global Spotify Date On October 12th With 22.24mil Streams
Streams 201015 BTS's "Jamais Vu" Has Now Surpassed 100 MILLION Streams on Spotify (41st song to do so)
Streams 201016 Dynamite Audio has surpassed 40M streams on YouTube Music. First BTS audio to do so.
Streams 201018 BTS's "Dynamite" has now surpassed 300 MILLION streams on Spotify
Streams 201018 "Dynamite" by BTS is now the fastest song by a Korean act to surpass 300 MILLION streams on Spotify (58 days), surpassing Boy With Luv! (194 days)
Views 201016 “ON" has now surpassed 200 million views on YouTube
Other 201013 BTS is now the first and only artist in history to spend 200 weeks at #1 on the Billboard Social 50

TinyTAN

Date Link Thread
201012 TinyTAN: We can be small or big, and also fluffy! All you have to do is pick! ⏰October 14, 2020 3PM (KST) Thread
201014 TinyTAN merchandise for the month of October is now available to preorder on Weverse Shop Thread

BT21

Date Link Thread
201012 BT21 PLAYLIST - Song From Planet BT Thread

BT21 merchandise news

Date Thread
201014 BT21 Baby Digital Clock
201016 BT21 BABY Boucle Blanket & Cushion

Misc

Date Thread
201013 UPDATE: Data Visualization of BTS Twitter Engagement (December 2015 - September 2020)
201017 [Fan account] My First Ever BTS Experience!

Subreddit

Rolling /bangtan Awards 2020 nomination form

Community posts

Top Discussion Posts

  1. [+180] I miss when BTS used to do covers of other songs at year end performances
  2. [+136] Favorite Jimin moments?
  3. [+132] How long did it take for you to learn their names?
  4. [+131] Waste It On Me
  5. [+104] New to BTS - Asking for Army's Guidance towards my BTS Journey

Weekly threads

Fanart

Here are past week's top 5 fanart posts from our sister subreddit, /heungtan!
Submitter Thread
AUOGil82 This year’s birthday drawing for Jimin~!
ilumoone Suga monochrome sketch
CrankyPilots Here’s my drawing for Jimin’s birthday! 💜 It’s based off of Serendipity and Lie
dandydellion Dynamite Fanart, I'm in love with the MVs colorgrading so much, and of course, with them haha
ilumoone Jimin drawing - Happy Birthday 🐣✨
submitted by llaverna to bangtan [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 17:41 El_Unico_Nacho [TOMT][MUSIC][2000s]I've been trying for hours to identify these two songs in this Mashup Mix

I have this old mashup mix from I think 2008 made by El Barto and Liam B. It's just called "Pop Mix". Most songs are recognizable (a track list would be awesome though), but I actually am just really stuck on two parts. Shazam isn't helpful, because I'm looking for the lyrics, not instrumentals.
Here's the audio (it's long).

First Song

I think the artist is Beenie Man, because there are some El Barto and Liam B sites that list "Kissy Sell Out, Herve / Beenie Man" as a track. I cannot for the life of me find the track though. It seems like the chorus is a cover of "Shirley & Company - Shame, Shame, Shame". Here are the lyrics I could decipher so far:
wake up in di morning like a (darling?) with the (role?) still inna mi eyes
last night n**** party so me no hearty when they stay still inna mi line
lubba lubba parachute out and him scoot out and him come down from the sky
all night trying to weed out, who ah me sweep out, (?)
now people if you love this take a broom now and sweep to the left side
now masses if you want this take your (last?) now and weed out the right side
()and the online()
()make your skull buss, too much () man, drive by
()but you love dancehall vibe
not to mention sadiqi, with a new march, weh yah get dancehall wine
dancehall queen stacey, she no easy, when she ah move her backside
dancehall queen junko from the far east, she ah do (alekata?) glide

Second Song

I think this artist is Rihanna, or someone else who might speak Patois because at one point they say "man dem". I've listened to all of her songs pre-2011 from her albums and nothing matches up, so it may be someone else. Here are the lyrics. It seems really sped up, so they may not be 100% accurate:
man asking you where you going tonight, just tell him it's a girl thing
and if mom asking you why you out by this time, just tell her it's a girl thing
you wear a nice pair of shoes when you know they're too tight, just know that it's a girl thing
and if you're going on a date and you're never on time, don't worry it's a girl thing
the way we rock our throw, and how we rock our shoes ()?
(?)
everytime we walk by you kow the boys like ("tum?)(?)
(?)yea I know that you don't know cause it's a girl thing
If there's a party, hell yea we'll make it, if there's a ride you know we'll take it
when the DJ's playing that bump to the beat, when we see that man dem moving their feet
if the party aint ... and you feel no heat, don't hesitate we'll get to club 19
The way we twist and turn and shake our hips, yea I know that you don't know cause it's a girl thing
I don't think this mix exists online anymore, so enjoy! It's pretty good - especially on long road trips. Thanks for anyone who can crack this!
submitted by El_Unico_Nacho to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 16:31 CostcoHotdawgs Any experience/advice fighting tickets in Gatineau??

Went to Nordik last month and just got a nasty $489 ticket in the mail for having an expired sticker on my plates.
Service Ontario’s website currently says “Products that expired on or after March 1, 2020, have an extended expiry date until further notice. We will notify you when it is time to renew”. My sticker expired in June and I have not renewed it since they said we will be notified when it’s time to renew.
I am wanting to fight this ticket since the expiration on my plates was extended by my province of residence. My own province says it’s totally good and legal to be driving with those plates. But Quebec issued this ticket. To me, this is like someone from Quebec coming to Ontario with no front plate on their car (totally fine for them) and receiving a ticket for it since it’s against our rules here.
Yes I know I could have renewed online but that isn’t the point here. Service Ontario said the expiration is extended. My stickers are good until further notice according to them.
I have heard horror stories about Ontarians fighting tickets in Quebec like people tickets being doubled. I don’t speak good enough French to communicate. I need to write a written explanation and mail it back to when with my ticket. I’m planning on printing the Service Ontario site page where it says the expiration is extended. I’m also going to see if I can contact the MPP. I wish I could get more in writing from Ontario to say they weren’t expired. If anyone has experienced something similar or has any advice for me fighting this ticket, I would love to hear it.
EDIT: Since so many are asking why I just didn't renew online, it's because I am working temporarily 6h away from home as a respiratory therapist for the pandemic. I came here to work before my sticker expired. If I renewed online, my sticker would get sent to my home which isn't where I am which doesn't help. It is directly related to the pandemic that I have not renewed which is why the pandemic extension is helpful for some. I didn't renew to try to avoid paying for my sticker
submitted by CostcoHotdawgs to ottawa [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 14:18 nuskulu Another temporary victory! + bonus advice

21 days! Super happy about it! And thus far the furthest I've made it through on NoFap!
Here are some lessons learned from the previous week:
- Dating sites / apps are very bad for you, loads of pictures that can trigger you and any potential match might be looking for a ONS and may trigger you even if nothing comes out of it. I found myself to exhibit addictive behaviour, compulsively going back, seeing if I got any messages, matches or whatever... as of 8 PM tonight I will delete all my profiles, delete the apps on my phone and block the websites so I can't even access them from the computer. Which leads me onto my next point...
- I've been having problems with leakage. Up to a point where I had to change underwear twice daily. All the interactions I had with the women I met online was causing me to get triggered and that would lead to leakage.
- You can transform bad experiences with women into something good. I got a lot of rejection on those dating sites (and a few interested women, which is more than what I normally would manage). But I realized that all those rejections can be used to fuel my ambition to go and train / exercise more.
- Be careful of supplementing with zinc. I noticed that it would boos my libido more so than usual, which made the above mentioned issues worse (IMO)
- We are our own worst enemy. My compulsive behaviour has made this week worse than it had to be. I had started my flatline and, honestly, I wasn't in the right headspace to be able to contol my urges, but luckly I have. I realize that what I was doing was to try and make myself feel good by seeking external stimuli instead of finding that shining light within us all. I was trying to outsmart the flatline but, as it turns out, you can't.
submitted by nuskulu to NoFap [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 10:58 juniordove I’ve been feeling low lately and can’t tell if my partner is just complacent

So (21F) I have been with my boyfriend (22M) for three years. He cheated on me online for the whole first year. Literally on every dating site and sending dick pics all day and night any chance he had. I found out in May 2019 and we’ve been recovering since. For the most part things have been okay.
I have 4 anxiety disorders, major depression, and both my parents cheated on each other so obviously this was difficult for me. I was angry for quite a while and we would argue often but things have been much better. I wasn’t paranoid about him cheating for a while and was a lot less bothered by triggers.
Anyways, he’s been unemployed for all of the pandemic. Which was fine for the most part until he started getting paid $100/ wk. I started paying for all of his food and the cats at that point. This prevented me from being able to put any money into my savings. I have been upset with this but I would feel like a massive asshole eating food while he’s sitting across from me hungry because he doesn’t have money.
But also I’ve been a lot more paranoid lately. He cheated on me frequently when I was at work and he was unemployed or had jobs that were during the night. (I have always worked during the day.) So I became paranoid about how he is spending his time all day away from me while he is unemployed for the past 7 months.
On top of it, he always said he cheated for the ego boost it would give him. He’s been complaining for the past couple months about having a low self esteem. Which just feeds into the paranoia. Like if you sought out other women for the ego boost and you have all this time on your hands, why wouldn’t you go back to cheating? Especially because all he’d have to do is make a new secret email, sign up to those sites again, and make sure he’s logged out when I’m home after work.
Then on top of this due to covid we haven’t been able to go out on date nights much at all. But he’s also not really complimenting me. Like today I got a new haircut which I was really self conscious about because it’s a completely new style. All he had to say was over text and it was just “I like it. Do you like it” and then the rest of the day he was asking if I was planning to dye it. I did my makeup before I saw him which he usually compliments and he didn’t. And the first time he saw my new hair in person he literally didn’t say a single thing and still hasn’t.
I don’t know...I think I’m just feeling self conscious and I’ve been suspicious with him having all this free time on his hands. Especially because he refuses to get a job because he’s hoping a stim package will be released and he can go back to making more money while unemployed. He also hasn’t been all that affectionate with me and doesn’t seem interested in keeping me around...more like he’s just expecting me to be here. Maybe this is just a rant I’m just feeling really weird the last couple of days and like he’s not being a good partner. Especially since the only thing he does for me in the past 7 months while I work full time is make dinner every other day. Meanwhile I massage his back because he’s complaining of being sore, consoling him because his tummy hurts, buying more expensive frozen food because his legs hurt too much to make fresh food, etc. idek I’m just getting stressed and I wish the cheating wasn’t something I’d have to worry about at this point.
submitted by juniordove to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 09:13 Mandysaurus17 Is it time for us to breakup?

I know, if I'm asking this on reddit the answer is probably yes. I'm hoping to get insight from other women who might have been in a similar situation, or can relate.
Background: We met online slightly over a year ago, had on and off text conversations and finally met after 3 weeks on October 25th 2019. The date wasn't extraordinary, but I was really excited to see him again. The next day he barely engaged in conversation, and poof, I was ghosted! Fast forward ~2 months and we run into each other again on another dating site. Make small talk and I straight up ask him why he ghosted me, he said he was seeing someone else around the time we met and wanted to see how it goes with them. I ASSUMED he met someone else online, and thought of our first interaction as an unfortunately timed event (I.e. right person, wrong time), and we go on another date. Things really took off for us, we couldn't go a day without talking and saw each other almost everyday! Eventually a few weeks later we made things official and started dating. A few days later I found out he never messaged me back the day after our first date because he met another girl at a party and hooked up with her, and wanted to continue hooking up with her...
Just a few days into a new relationship and I am completely heartbroken. I gave him the benefit of doubt and assumed he decided to date someone else he was talking to online and that's why he ghosted me, but no, he chose another girl over me, one that put out after a couple of drinks (not shaming her, this is more a reflection of his character, than the other girl's). He promises he will make things right and make it up to me, he asked me to give him another chance, so I did.
Dilemma: I don't feel like our relationship got off to a good start, and it lacks foundation. The circumstances of our initial meeting comes up often in arguments and we just go in circles. 2 months ago it got really bad and I wanted to breakup with him, as a last resort he suggested couples counselling to help us through our problems. I dont think counselling is working. I can see he really does want to make things work with me, but keeps messing up (I.e. unintentionally making false promises, not being there for me when I need him)
Ladies, if a relationship gets off to a bad start, is there little hope in it recovering? At what point do you decide to call it quits? Am I supposed to just get over what happened in the beginning, or is he supposed to make it up to me?
I'm somebody who will rather be single and alone for the rest of my life, than be married to the "wrong" guy. But i don't want this attitude to keep me from rejecting every guy I meet.
Note: I dont think he's a sleazy guy who doesnt intend on keeping his promises, he really is a kind, sweet guy, and overall good natured. Just awful at having a serious conversation with me, and doesn't meet my emotional needs.
I know I wrote a lot, thank you for taking the time to read all, or even parts of my post.
Edit: incase it matters, I'm [25 F] and partner is [25 M]
submitted by Mandysaurus17 to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]


2020.10.18 02:31 ajmixalot Great chemistry and then things trail off

I (35 F) have had this happen a couple of times now and am wondering if it is just me or if I am doing something wrong? I talk to them on a dating app, talk on the phone, meet in person, have a great time, get told it was amazing and we absolutely have to do it again, and then they just slowly stop talking to me. Rinse, wash and repeat at least 3 times now. I can't seem to figure out what I a doing wrong after the first date that they tell me how much they like me, how much they want to see me again and then nothing. I haven't slept with them, some kissing a little fooling around but no sex. They say they are super busy, some family emergency comes up, work emergency and then I just never hear from them again. Is there something else I should be doing or just chalk it up to flaky guys who aren't interested?

Edit: Also does anyone have and online dating sites they find actually work well with good potential matches?
submitted by ajmixalot to datingoverthirty [link] [comments]


2020.10.17 23:12 myherotrash 21m never been on a date. Never had a real gf.

Im 21m. Havent had a gf since me and my highschool sweetheart broke up and i moved . it was boarding school too. Never been on a date since we were in boarding school. I have 2 jobs averaging about 36k after taxes(which is close to the avg household income in America), my own apartment and im in school. I feel ambitious. I work out and am in shape. I also enjoy drawing and painting in my free time. I always try to look neat and not unkempt. I love everyone and treat them with respect. Im always happy. And i love life art, music, movies, culture and taking care of my family. But i have no clue of how to get a gf. I have no luck on dating sites... I feel its because im short 5'7 but in real life there are girls that seem to show interest. I only have 1 day off a week and would love to spend some of that time with a good woman. She doesnt have to be pretty or up to social media standards rich or anything .Only genuine. What am i doing wrong? How do i get a gf? Am i even ready?
P.s. i feel like i have lower chances, being black in a white neighborhood right now. But even when i was in a black community i had no luck. I only got numbers from 2 thirty year old mothers of 2 and 3. I thought they were young they thought i was old.
Here are the reasons i think are the problem
Proximity to women. I work around men mostly. My 2nd job is in a store where i see majority of my dating prospects( bad , i know)
Lack of mother( mom died when i was young) my aunt did alot for me though
Im in online school and will never experience college life. Im ok because i find happiness from other things.
I live conservatively. Minimalism lifestyle. Plz help me thank you!!
submitted by myherotrash to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.17 22:16 SpicyGreasyBalls How easy is it for women to see intros without a paid subscription? Curious because not many respond...

I send a lot because of how often these get ignored, put a lot of work into them, and I don't know how hundreds of these could be so easily ignored by all of these users.
I went through a break up 2 months ago from a 4 or 5 year relationship, I had to dump her, and I'm trying to get back out there, and I spent weeks (-literally- weeks during work because I had nothing to do) writing 1 or 2 paragraphs to every decent woman I saw. I must have spent at least $100+ on different apps and boosts within this month. The only likes I got were from people I could never be attracted to, or were very obese. The few matches and messages I ever got back seem to end fast for no reason, even though it seems like the conversation started off well.
I've been writing to all the women within a 30 mile radius in this big city area who appeal to me in terms of both looks and interests and a few other things. I introduce myself, comment on their profile, ask them questions, all the right things. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm 37 years old, male, ok looking, have a lot of hobbies, goofy, exercise and say a lot on my profile. It makes me feel like I'm going to go broke and die alone trying to find the next long term relationship with someone. It's like a 2nd job where you're constantly depressed the harder you try to do better.
I'm on like 10 different apps, only a few of them I pay a subscription to. But I attempt to manage through them all. Thing seem different that the way they were 5 years ago. OKC seems worse, and all of the other apps have way too many social media whores who want you to follow them and are not there to date. I feel like giving up, I wont, but I feel like it. Because trying my best isn't getting me anywhere. Can't find people through friends, because most of the friends I grew up with were apparently terrible at being friends. I feel stuck with this being the only option, but women are just so dismissive. Or if you finally get one's attention, they become like squirrels and vanish when you're just trying to have a good conversation.
I know people's response to hearing about men's problem on dating sites... "Oh, but women have to deal with too many messages and most of them are bad". I know I know.. I tried making a women's profile long long ago to see that myself. Ok... but do they have to pay to get all of those messages? Do they have to put in much of any effort to get this attention. Is it harder to delete unwanted messages or is it harder to write to hundreds of people and not have anything responded to? Is is easier to be poor and beg for money, or to be Scrooge McDuck and complain your coin room smells bad?
Sorry this became more about my problems with online dating than the original question, just needed to vent too. Working this hard at it has had me agitated.
submitted by SpicyGreasyBalls to OkCupid [link] [comments]


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